Friday, 18 January 2013

It's Just A Heap Of Metal...A Heap Of Junk Metal Now

It could only happen to my dear OH. I say this with a fondness and deep appreciation for his little escapades, which I still find endearing, albeit through gritted teeth.

My OH is a man of many talents, he works many hours to provide for our huge family and is still the most attractive man on the planet in my eyes. That said...

In July 2012, it was decided we needed a second car as my OH changed jobs and needed one for work. He duly went out and panic bought a bit of an old banger called Rusty. It reminded me of a sketch I once saw where a similar car reached the traffic lights only to fall apart, its four wheels rolling away from the scene to fetch a strong coffee each and grab a bit of a lay down. It was a rust bucket of the highest oxide but the petrol cap, I was assured, was sound. He seemed to think this of great significance and so I bowed to his greater knowledge and let it go.

A mere 12 weeks later and it gave up the ghost. The door did indeed fall off at the traffic lights, (I kid you not) and he limped home like Fred Flintstone with a look on his face which begged understanding. The car was taken away, to be as crushed as his ego.

And so I did something rather silly. I let him use my car who I had affectionately named Horace after my grandad (dependable, loyal and trustworthy)  until we could afford another to replace Rusty. Several scrapes, chips, dents later and Horace had finally had enough. With a war cry Mel Gibson would have been proud of, Horace danced on some ice and threw himself at another car. I wept over his bonnet and with a final tearful farewell sent him to the same scrapyard as Rusty. That was five days ago.

Four days ago we bought a new car. This time it was a Ka. The petrol cap was rusty, which I took as a good sign, the ying and yang of car purchasing or the faint hope of better things perhaps? My dear OH was enthusiasm itself and assured me it was the right car. The man from the garage backed this up and I ignored the garage man's quips about women not knowing anything about cars because this woman doesn't. And so he bought it, insured it, told work he was coming in that evening and set off for work at the appropriate time. He turned two corners, found a patch of ice and...yes, quite...totally wrote off the car he slid into and did untold damage to the one he was driving.

Three days ago we bought a new car. This time it was a Ford Fiesta. He went to the garage to look at it and decided it was the one for him. Excellent condition, economical and a pleasant colour (!!) I can't tell you about the petrol cap, I didn't ask. He agreed to go back the next day to pick it up and told work he would be in. He insured it, took it to work and managed to bring it home in one piece.

Tonight there are several inches of snow predicted...I'll get back to you.

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